*post-sex, UG before he even takes the condom off*
“I’m surprised you were effective because your legs need to lose a little weight”
I’m sure you heard me say that to your girlfriend while I gave her the Valentine’s gift you requested (happy to do you a “solid”) but I assure you she refused to allow the use of any condoms because she wanted you to help clean up the mess afterwards. Chunky but freaky girl she is.